Letter in Café Ignaz

I wrote a letter to a friend while sitting in a café that accurately describes my current mood and outlook. As such, it the content also seemed fitting for a blog entry. Please excuse any redundancies, like the mentioning of Amsterdam and Barcelona.

21.02.09

Dear Sandra,

I am sitting in Café Ignaz, a vegan restaurant/café here in Munich (there are three really delicious and well-known vegetarian restaurants, the others are most likely also good, but less popular) with a GIANT latte. I feel like a toddler sipping a large glass of milk with my PB & J sandwich, as I have to hold the glass in both hands so as to avoid disaster. While walking here, I saw my professor with her son and husband. The kid is about two and, like all small creatures (dogs included) in the city right now, he was bundled up in a snow suit and barely capable of walking due to all the padding and fabric. It was like that scene in A Christmas Story - the little brother [drawing here].
It is a bit strange being here on my own, I suppose. It is turning from late afternoon into evening, and the place is shifting more into a dinner mood. I don't mind, though. I will just sip my oversized glass and update you on the oh-so-fascinating state of things in my life. Yesterday I finished up a short internship at a Montessori school here, working as an assistant teacher and English instructor.
So now I really understand what you were talking about when you expressed how working with the kids at ACAP was often more enjoyable than your work at the art studio (100 Monkeys??). I hadn't worked in a class setting for neurotypical kids since before ACAP, so my perception was different. Now, however, I see. The kids at this school were great and mostly charming, but the brattiness factor was not minimized by the fact that their parents had sent them to a 'progressive' school.
At ACAP, I would just ask a kid to do something and he would either react negatively, which required an intervention (that was logical and practical) and was probably bound to happen anyway, or the child would just do what I asked. It's a difference in how you, as a teacher/authority figure, are treated, and in this way, many autistic children (or those whom I have met/worked with - small sample size, I know...) are unknowingly far more respectful. Christopher [our boss] said it once, how these kids do not lie - not because they are morally superior, etc., but because it is not seen as a viable option. Why lie? Therefore, they are more honest.
Ok, rampant generalizations aside, the internship was good, and it was really challenging because my reaction time in German and ability to produce an intstructive, concise sentence at the blink of an eye is considerably slower than in English. Still, I feel that I was effective and bonded a great deal with the kids.


This week I will write my psychology paper, which I haven't been worrying about as much as I ought to. I wrote a 20 page paper in German for a literature course, so my confidence in writing in the language shot up. Now, a 10 page psych paper that is pretty much just a summary of the course and articles is far less daunting, although it is in a foreign language. I don't know exactly which psychology courses to take next semester, if any. Four or five more are required to graduate, so I could feasibly do this back in Portland. But personality psych or psych of gender could be fascinating here.
Oooh Sandra, I just returned from the bathroom here and have to share with you the obscene amount of kitsch. Are you ready? So beyond a baby pink door adorned with a ceramic sign with "Ladies" spelled out in cursive, there is a collection of fake orchids in a vase strangled by plastic ivy. On the walls, there are old-fashioned prints of cupid and roses that look like Valentine's Day stationary. There are also small black and white flower photos which could be classy if they weren't streaked with water stains from the people who failed at drying their hands. The grey tile walls are randomly painted (every fifth one or so) with happy little trees and bird shapes, and in the corner is a small wiry statue of a large woman that could pass as a mini coat rack. Oh, it was glorious. So unexpected, too! It's like finding out that a trendy friend of yours secretly collects porcelain figurines!
So, now you are somewhat updated on things, namely the apearance of a café bathroom in Munich. Right. I am leaving on March 4th for a four day trip to Amsterdam and on the 8th I will go to Barcelona. I will live there for a month, renting a room with a friend from Munich/the Ukraine and taking Spanish courses. I am excited to re-learn the language and finally feel comfortable enough with my German that I can do so.
So, as I will be away until April 6th, don't worry about sending a reply letter very speedily, but but I really hope to hear back from you!!
-Sarah

Books, bikes, travels and settling

Yesterday I finished Blankets, a graphic novel by the really talented young author Craig Thompson. My brother sent it to me specially from the US, as it is not so widely available here. I tried so hard to spread out the reading of it over a couple days! It was wonderful and the author/illustrator is one of my favorites. Thompson is from Portland but writes about his travels and his childhood in rural Wisconsin, it's really interesting and the drawings are beautiful. A shorter book of his is called Carnet de Voyage, about traveling in Morocco and France. I highly recommend it as initiation.

It has been snowing like crazy here, and I am definitely not used to the weather. There is a certain trait that I recognize in other Californians as well that allows us to pretend that we are capable of living in any climate. Yes, I grew up with no snow, but there was always Tahoe! It's this idea of being invincible that is helpful for quickly adjusting anywhere without complaining about environmental apsects that also tends to be problematic. The point of all this weather-related rambling is to say that I am very much unacquainted with the idea of freezing temperatures and picturesque but subtly cruel snow. I had been avoiding biking in the snow for the most part, as I don't have a functioning bike (flat tire, rusty and old frame, high up seat, etc.) and it is dangerous as hell. Yet after the third day of trudging for 20 minutes through the snow-covered Olympia Park to get to the school where I am doing my internship, I thought it would be a good idea to borrow a friend's bike. I even thought far ahead enough as to borrow a bike with thick tires instead of Emily's road bike that she gave me free reign over.

But then I fell. Hard. Less than 20 feet from my front door. This was after hours spent (with pliers and a dented knife, as the wrenches were all to big) lowering the seat and cleaning snow and muck off the bike. At this point it was way to late to go with the underground and I was starting to feel the continual five hours of sleep I had been torturing myself with for the last few nights. The bike was too big and the path was too icy. I tried... and failed. But! Instead of being ridiculous and getting up again to forge onward through the snow, I called it a day and gave up. I know, I know, this is not the O'Brien spirit and I would like to think that I don't give up so easily, which in my own personal history - with several exceptions in childhood - this is more or less true. I thought of a friend who was hospitalized after a bike accident just some months before, and in optimal weather. I wasn't wearing a helmet, like I would in Portland, and was therefore much more vulnerable. After shakily locking up the bike and calling my boss to let her know of my reason for absence, I went back to bed and slept for six hours, comforted by the idea that some battles don't have to be won.

The internship that I mentioned is going really well. I am an apprentice/teaching assistant in a Montessori school here in Munich. After day two, the kids were already hanging on my arms and begging me not to leave. Working with kids is always good for the ego! I am also proud of my ability to converse with them and the teachers in German, which I think is the main goal of this internship: learning to effectively do what I already understand but in a foreign language. It is also nice to be in an elementary school classroom setting, because the kids are learning things in their language that I can relate to, through once being a child myself and also through having recently learned German. The teacher and I were planning project ideas and I suggested doing a little informal English lesson. She was excited about this and when we mentioned it in circle, the kids were thrilled. Now I am contemplating ways to make it fun and interesting... possibly with cutting out and glueing images to correspond with verbs/adjectives.

I was in the teacher's lounge yesterday and couldn't help feeling as if I would be found out in a "hey Missy, you don't belong in here" kind of way. The age gap is such that I am closer in age to the children than the teachers, or at the very least exactly in between. It is interesting seeing how - I am also taking notes on all this for a potential developmental psychology research paper - the kids react to me both as an intermediary and a younger authority figure. I really love the Montessori method and have researched it a great deal. Being a Montessori kid myself (if even just for 3 years) definitely earns me points among children and teachers in the school alike.

Today marks the end of the first week of vacation, which lasts until April 20th. During February, I am completing this internship and writing my last term paper (due on the 28th) for my Thinking and Problem-Solving psychology course. On March 4th I will leave with two friends for a 3 day trip to Amsterdam, a city I am fascinated by. I will be there for my 21st birthday and am thrilled to experience the alternative bike and art culture. The day after I return to Munich, the 8th of March, I will leave for a month-long stay in Barcelona. A friend Ivanna and I will take Spanish courses a nearby school and take in the art museums, beaches, cafés and night life. I am especially excited about this month and the break from Munich. I love it here, but I do not want to get stuck in a rut.

It is great to be here while not under the stress of courses, papers and reading, and I keep remarking to friends that I found out more about the city, as far as orienting myself and discovering where I feel comfortable, in two days than I did in the 5 1/2 month long semester. This is not entirely true, of course, but the last several months have served as a framework and basic understanding of the city that is now finally being put to use in deepining my understanding of it.